Bible reviews
Amazon.com user reviews of The Holy Bible (KJV)
We at FTP thought it would be amusing to compile some of the more interesting reviews of The Holy Bible from Amazon.com:
Frankly, I was disappointed. I expected more from God. Definitely not his best work.
"I find the plot hard to follow, the writing style is pretty rough and the characters lack emotional depth. God turns out to be a pretty mean guy when he kicks Adam and Eve out of the garden for simply eating an apple and then tries to trick Abraham into killing his son ... just kidding! He does do a good job of flooding the earth and killing most everyone which is kind of cool, but again, kind of mean.
The new testament stuff is better ... Jesus is a pretty cool dude with a good message about loving people and turning the other cheek and all that ... but it seems to get lost in translation somewhere in the modern world."
The Bible forms the basis for two of the world's most popular religions, Judaism and Christianity. I normally don't recommend reading a book just based on popularity, but in this case the work has been so influential that it's worth having a copy handy.
The main text is a compilation of stories that are mostly borrowed from Sumerian and Greek myths that were prevalent several thousand years ago. These were assembled in a rather haphazard fashion to conform to various political and sociological agendas as they changed over the years. The result is a challenging read, in parts contradictory and often repetitive. In several places it's just plain impossible to figure out what's going on, but that's to be expected from a work that has been so thoroughly edited, censored, translated, and rearranged.
Nonetheless, it's worth reading, simply because it has had such an enormous influence on so many human endeavors, from literature to art to law. As such, it provides a helpful context for a broader secular education in almost any field (except science, math, or refrigerator repair/maintenance). Furthermore, many of the stories are very engaging, even though they are written in a somewhat opaque, old-timey style. Most people know the creation and flood myths, but some of the lesser known stories are really gripping too, as long as one doesn't mind a lot of violence.
Like I said to a Gideon who was handing out bibles on my campus, "Hey, isn't that a beginner's book?" I was being both insulting and sincere. It's a great starter book. After which, by the time you're around 12, I recommend some Mark Twain, working your way up to Milton at around 17, and then never looking back, except to read the Book of James to your war mongering Christian friends.
In fact, the Book of James is the only book in this (heavily edited) compilation that I really recommend for adult readers. In that book, God (if you believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God) says that faith without works is meaningless. For this reason, Luther thought the Book of James should be removed from the Bible. Essentially, it completely contradicts the American Protestant claim that you can do what you want as long as you have faith. (A recent study, for example, showed that Christians who took abstinence pledges were more likely to engage in anal intercourse because it wasn't really sex than non-Christians.) This kind of faith-without-works logic (borrowed from Paul, who was a Roman and who, unlike James, had never met Jesus) means, for instance, that a person can be a Christian and start wars. Contrary to this doctrine, God writes in James that there is one and only one reason for war: Greed! Not democracy, not ideology, just plain, pure and simple greed for wealth. What's remarkable about this is that you can make this claim to a Christian friend and they're likely to call you a socialist (because you're invoking material determinism to explain the emptiness of ideology), but there it is, in black and white, in the very "Word of God." Good stuff, the book of James. Far better than Job, where God is a raging a-hole and close, personal friend of Satan.
Genesis, a tale stolen from the early Sumerians, is fascinating in its deft metaphoric tracing of the development of earthly life and human culture. The story of Samson is rousing entertainment (if misogynistic). The Song of Solomon is lyrical and steamy.
As for the rest, sorry, but this is just not a convincing collection. First, God is a vengeful father who has no sense of proportion, demanding the slaying of not only a man who stole silk and gold from God (what, exactly, did the omnipotent creator of the universe want with a bolt of silk and a wedge of gold, anyway?). Then, no wait, God is actually the universal embodiment of love, desiring only that the more-or-less sapient beings of Earth worship Him.
Sure.
If this, humorless, sexist, ethnocentric tome actually did represent the words of God, life (and afterlife) would not be worth experiencing.
If you're looking for a worthwhile epic, read Homer or Ovid or Chaucer or Shakespeare. Hell, even Tennyson is more fun.
If you're looking for a life, look elsewhere. Get a decent job. Get laid. Read a *good* book. Do some charity work. Learn another language. Travel. Take up a hobby. Canvass for a worthy cause. This disjointed collection of gibberish and ravings is no shortcut to salvation.
Maybe God will strike me in the spleen with a lightning bolt. That would teach me.
Most Christians that I know have never read The Bible. I felt it my duty as an atheist to know what I was criticizing, and so I read it through... then, I went on to read the Koran, the Bhaghavad-Gita and am about half way through The Book of Mormon.
The conclusion I've come to is that books of this type aren't really about what's inside of them; they're about the faith people have that there's some sort of meaning to the universe and their lives, etc. These books are symbolic--something to have one one's bookshelf (or mantle) as a means of proclaiming one's belief. The actual written material is besides the point.
After all, how could any Christian defend items such as God's killing of a man for touching the ark of the covenant (he was trying to save the ark from falling)? Or the laws that no one would defend in western society today, proclaimed in the Pentateuch, such as stoning an adulterer to death? Or children being mauled by bears for making fun of a prophet's baldness? In terms of religion alone, The Bible doesn't present a particularly moral or desirable God. He asks his followers (like Joshua) to slaughter their 'enemies' man, woman and child, and floods the world killing all but a family, when angry. I suppose the implication is that we are to worship him because he is very powerful and will do horrible things to us if we don't. That isn't my idea of morality. But as I say, these things are besides the point to almost all Christians; it is always a mistake to question them on what is inside the Bible because 99% of the time they don't know what is inside.
In terms of literature, there are a few gems for someone interested in old mythic stories or ancient writings. Job, Esther, Matthew and John and some others will hold your interest. But the work as a whole is dreary to get through, especially areas like Kings and Chronicles and the major prophets (Isaiah, Jeremiah and the like who endlessly repeat themselves). But, of course, if it's literature you're really interested in, there's a lifetime's worth that is light years beyond this.
And so, I give this two stars instead of one simply for the historical importance of The Bible, which is the most compelling reason I can think of for reading it. It won't help you to understand Christians particularly, as they haven't read it. It won't entertain you particularly, and will at times bore you to unconsciousness. It won't lift your morality as such, as most of the "heroes" are fairly immoral/amoral which befits the fact that they worship an immoral/amoral deity. It's good to read because it looks good on your intellectual resume and also because it's caused quite a splash, for one reason or another, over the last 2000 years. In all... whatever.
The Holy Bible tells the story of, well, everything. It begins with the creation of All That Is, and ends with Judgment Day (though it's pretty different from the one they showed in "Terminator 2"). It's split into two parts, one old and one new. This makes it easier to get through, sort of like "Lord of the Rings" or "Harry Potter" books. There's all sorts of numbers to help you keep track of where you are, so you don't have to worry about a bookmark.
The main character in the story is God, who made Earth and stuff. He sets a bunch of rules that he wants people to follow. At first, all the Angels do what he tells `em, but one gets fed up and quits. He is punished to Hell (it's a real place, not a cuss word) and turns into Stan, which is a pretty cool part.
God next creates the first people, Adam & Eve (who have a catalog named after them now. Have you seen it? It's awesome). They live in a garden and are all happy and such until Eve screws up and they get evicted. Same kinda thing happened to my brother and his girlfriend.
You also meet God's son Jesus, who comes from above and lives with human parents. He goes around helping people, which is cool. Come to think of it, whoever wrote the Bible should sue the guys who make that show "Smallville." It's a total rip. Whatever. Anyhow, Jesus tries to be a teacher and show the world how to be good, but then bad guys show up and pound on him. If you want, you can see that in Mel Gibson's last movie, but it's pretty brutal. I don't want to give away the ending, but in the book Jesus comes back to life to save the day. He rocks.
There's tons of other great characters, like: Job (I'd love to know what his first name is), Noah, Lot, Lot's Wife, Zeus, Hermaphrodite, and the Four Horsemen of Calypso.
Overall, I'd say the Holy Bible is definitely worth reading. It's really long and has some slow parts, but I liked it a lot better than "Ethan Frome."
Cool trivia: the Holy Bible is the basis of Christianity, one of the world's most popular religions!
Looking for a spooky tale to curl up to this Halloween season? Is there a glaring gap between your Stephen King and Anne Rice books on the shelf? Here's the perfect horror novel to plug it with!
A supernatural thriller to the core, the monster in this book will thrill and chill you! A demonic entity named Yahweh sets humanity up with the perfect trap: the Tree of Life. Knowing they'll eat the otherwise purposeless fruit, he slaps them with a generational curse that binds them to his malevolent will! What follows is the most twisted tale of evil ever written! Yahweh, egotistical and ragingly jealous, uses those under his control to rape and pillage cultures that don't worship him. Men, women and animals alike were slain in these bloodthirsty raids. The only hope you had was being a virgin woman whom Yahweh encourages to be conquested [Deuteronomy 21:10-13], [Deuteronomy 20:13-16].
If you have a hard time reading about cruel animal and human sacrifices, perverted sexual references and the murder and abuse of children I suggest not picking this up. This is a true tale of horror and our villain is far from tactful! However, Yahweh's not a transparent, homicidal maniac. To be so would be far too predictable and I commend the author on his skillful character development. What makes Yahweh so fiendish is that he commits his violent acts under the veneer of love! To fool humanity further he sent down a hippy version of himself and later set that person up to die, quenching his bloodlust once again. But, that's not where the horror ends! I hate to give away the ending but it's far too devious to go unmentioned! In the end his cult followers will be sucked into an alternative dimension where they will toil and praise his ego to never-ending extents. Those who choose not to accept his conditional, unconditional love will find themselves in a sadistic torture pit of his making.
What's really neat about this work of fiction is you don't even have to pay for it! There's many fan bases out there that will happily provide you with a copy!
This mish-mash of a book is extremely hard to comprehend, and through no fault of the reader. I read it many times in my 28-year career as a Born-Again, God-Loving, Believer and Christian. The Bible was the foundation and framework from which I tried to understand the world. As I learned and discovered new things about the universe, I found that what I understood about the Bible didn't always match what was happening in real life.
So, I changed my interpretation. I decided that either science was wrong and the Bible was right (and thus science needed to be silenced), or I understood the scripture incorrectly and needed to find a new interpretation to match my new knowledge.
Friends, don't go there. That is a rabbit that a logical-minded Christian could spend a lifetime chasing.
Finally, I realized that the problem was not me or my interpretation of the Bible. The problem was the Bible. An honest person who is not afraid to truly examine their beliefs can easily go online and do a search and find documentation of literally hundreds of internal contradictions and errors within the Bible. It is little wonder that preachers can't agree among themselves what the correct interpretation of scripture is, when the Bible can't even agree with itself!
After a struggle with my faith, and many prayers for wisdom and understanding seemingly falling on deaf ears, I realized that I do not believe in God anymore. In fact, I no longer believe in the supernatural at all. Breaking the Christian mind-control conditioning of HELL was very difficult. (And yes, those who have ever had doubts about their faith know that the conditioning is very real.) But it is impossible to make yourself believe something out of fear alone. And once your mind examines the situation logically, you begin to realize how irrational the fear is. And with that, the fear is gone.
So for the Bible, I will say that many good things have come from it as far as people teaching that we should love each other and be good to each other. Many bad things have come from it too, such as religious wars, the crusades, the Salem witch trials, and the offspring of Judaism called Islamic Terrorism.
Does the good outweigh the bad? I don't know. It depends on who you ask. But I find it likely that even in the absence of Christianity, people will still believe in the basic principles of fairness, love, and being good to each other. Indeed, this is the case in "non-Christian" nations as well as "Christian" ones. Christianity does not have a monopoly on morality, or goodness.
The book itself is quite boring. It is frankly a pain to read. "God's Word" is spiritual meat and bread according to Jesus. And it is supposed to refresh you and bring you life. Personally, I found it to be quite a drag.
And honestly it doesn't get any better with repeat readings. If anything, it just gets more confusing and more inconsistent the more you read. Been there, done that, no thanks.
If you are reading this review, then you probably are a Christian already. Well, good luck to you. I am glad we live in a country where we are free to believe, or not as the case may be. Please just remember that not everyone wants your way of life. Nor do they want religion crammed down their throat. You have been taught to believe that your way is the better way. (The ONLY way, as a matter of fact.) Well, good for you. But it would be nice for the rest of us if you would just keep it to yourself. Unfortunately that's not what Christianity is all about.
So read the book, if you want. After all, Christians are required to buy it once they have been brainwashed into the church machine. It's one of the unwritten conditions of being saved. Once you have asked Jesus to forgive your sins and come into your heart so you can receive the free gift of salvation, you will find that there are all sorts of other requirements that you will need to fulfill to truly get that salvation. Suddenly, it won't be so "free" anymore. Buying a Bible is your first requirement. So buy it cheap on Amazon.com.
Any book that starts off with two naked people and a talking snake has something going for it. The continuity is a bit off; there's the story of Cain and Abel being the sons of Adam and Eve, who are the first man and woman, but then Cain goes off and gets married, and it's never really clear where Mrs. Cain comes from.
The poetry and lyrical realism are very reminiscent of Shakespeare's better works, but it does get episodic in places, especially in all the writings of the "prophets;" where's the connection to the main plot?
The second half has a nice "Rashomon" feel to it with four different versions of the life of the main protagonist. The political issues get a little muddy; the author could have taken a cue from Michener in doing more research and laying it out clearly as to what the political climate was like. He or she assumes the reader is familiar with the back-story of Israel in 4 B.C., and that's a pretty big leap.
All in all I enjoyed it; the messages were pretty simple: do unto others etc. is a bit hackneyed, but it still comes across. As far as fables and mythology goes, though, you might want to check out some of the works by Tolkien; there's a much stronger plotline there.
Not a bad book. Contains some of my favourite literature ever. As Mark Twain put it 'It's full of interest, has noble poetry in it, some clever fables, some blood drenched history, some good morals, a wealth of obscenity and upwards of a thousand lies'.
If I could bring 10 books to a desert island, I'd bring 10 copies of the bible. It is just that good.
While there are some nicely poetic parts such as Ecclesiastes, there are numerous flaws in character development throughout the book that are too glaring to give it a good review. Most obvious of these is the God character's completely unexplained personality shift between part I and part II. How are we to understand him going from the a psychopathic Patrick Batemanesque divinity in the beginning to suddenly being a benevolent absent father figure in the second part. While I'm not a professional psychologist it seems that as mentally disturbed as God is in the first part, that the chance of him mending his ways in such a dramatic way would have been as believable as Stalin regretting murdering millions of people towards the end of his life.
Additionally it seems doubtful at best that a father with so many deep personality problems could raise such a socially well-adjusted son. Obviously the father's extreme violence would account for Jesus's extreme passivity in the face of violence, but one would equally expect him to lash out murderously after the role model of his father at some point. The fact that God pretty much disappears in the last half is never explained either. Has he been arrested? Is he in rehab or an anger management program? We're just never told.
Some may excuse the unbelievable character and psychological development on the book's age. To those individuals I would say read the Iliad and Odyssey. Both were written in the same age and both have well-crafted characters with distinct development arcs who act in believable ways. It's unfortunate, but then few authors have the skills to out do Homer, especially in the ancient world.
This book is the product of a severely diseased mind. Every human perversion and psychosis is analyzed in depth. From all shades of prejudice, to sadism and incest, the worst of the human condition is proudly on display, married to a forceful ignorance which concludes that-
1. All homosexuals should be executed. 2. Blacks are merely slightly evolved monkeys. 3. Women are responsible for all human sin and weakness. 4. The world is a 6000 year old floating disk around which sea monsters patrol. (Various copies of this book omit this statement, as it was proven wrong in the late 15th Century. Unfortunately for the faithful, this book is the inspired word of their invisible friend who lives in the sky, whom they call "God". This God is incapable of speaking anything but the truth. Thus to omit or change any statement from the original bible is to move against God, and imply that he is capable of being wrong, which throws the whole text out the window.) 5. A man named Moses was given a tablet listing ten commandments, which govern human morality. Sadly, God is plagiarizing the ancient Egyptians and their Book of the Dead here, which had essentially the same list, and was created much earlier than this Judeo-Christian work. A decidedly low blow by God there, as the ancient Egyptians never had the Book of the Dead copyrighted, and cannot sue him.
Please do the right thing and burn any copies of this book which you encounter, to inhibit the spread of this idealogical cancer. And if you ever encounter someone who actually believes the depravities and impossibilities listed in this text, please beat them about the head with a large, blunt instrument repeatedly until they come to their senses. Think of it as your Christian duty.
Put it right on the shelf with the rest of the fiction.
Sex, Violence, persecution, discrimination, racism, incest, murders aplenty... this book has it all. On top of that it's hard to read because of the archaic use of language.
Written 50 years after the alleged death of Jesus. Translated by just about anyone who wanted to. REWRITTEN by every ruler who didn't like what the older version said.
Why does the bible have more sex than a daytime Soap? Because sex sells.
Christianity is a plagiarism of the sun god Mithra, a poorly written thought virus that was used by the Romans to control their slaves. No first century historian confirms the existence of Jesus. None of the Jewish or Roman historians living during the time in which Jesus was said to have lived wrote one word about him. The birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ is documented in only one source, the bible. Now if there were other Jewish or even Pagan historical documents showing that Jesus really was around at the time in which he was said to have been around, you would have something. But to date, NOBODY has been able to produce such a record! You don't believe bigfoot is real because you read it in a tabloid, do you? The bible is just like a tabloid. It contains a lot of extraordinary hearsay evidence. However, extraordinary claims need extraordinary evidence. Yes, I am an atheist, but not without careful consideration. The bible is flooded with contradictions, but that's not the main reason I refuse to believe in god. There are more than 5,000 different gods out there and everybody has their own opinion to which one they want to believe. As for me, rather than believing in comforting lies and hearsay evidence, I choose to follow that which can be proven and used in a clear state of truth. I depend on science and research to find the answers & solutions for my life. Instead of living on biblical fables and blind faith, I rely on true knowledge and my free will to accept life as it is. The bible is hearsay evidence, much less a fairy tale. I would strongly advise anyone to be more skeptical and do more research on things before taking them for granted.
The Bible contains farces that even an act of God cannot explain. After the creation, God asks Adam to look over the animals and find one "suitable" for him (Genesis 2:18-20). The all-knowing god is absolutely clueless as to what kind of partner Adam might desire. Did he not already realize that he was going to make a woman for him? Isn't it also disgusting for God to propose that Adam should find an animal to be his sexual companion?
The trinity is also bizarre. First it was not mentioned in either the old or new testament. Second no one can explained it correctly or credibly. You just have to believe. But when you compound it with errors and absurdities in the bible as well as recognizable fabrications, you can't just throw caution and logic and just believe. We are told that God is one yet he is three or has three facets. We are also told that the way to salvation is that Jesus died for us on the cross. If so what happened to those God drowned or sent fire and stones on them. When you ask members of clergy they tell you that Jesus died for them too. Then salvation is not through Jesus. Even so, why did God killed them for their sins when he was going to save through Jesus later on? Doesn't make sense. If God is not going to save them then it's not fair since the doctrine of accepting Jesus was not an option to then. Did God just changed his mind and decided to change the path to salvation? then what kind of God is that? And when Mary was pregnant with God, who took care of the universe? Did Jesus exist before Mary was carrying him? If not then he is not the Alpha and therefore he is not God. And if he exited before then how did be become a fetus and what did he do during his 30 years stay on earth before he started preaching? People say he was learning about people. That's bull. An omnipotent omniscient God doesn't know about His creation?
The following quotes convey the Christian doctrine stating that Jesus came to Earth to voluntarily die for the sins of mankind, thus enacting the "ultimate sin atonement" and becoming the "Savior of the world."
I Corinthians 15:3 For I delivered to you, it being most important, what I also received, that Jesus died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures.
Mark 10:45 For the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
I Peter 3:18 For Jesus also died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous.
However, one should question this tenet of faith upon evaluating Jesus' state of mind prior to his crucifixion.
Hebrews 5:7 Jesus prayed with loud crying and supplications and tears to Him Who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because he feared.
Matthew 27:46 About the ninth hour J cried out with a loud voice: 'My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?'
Luke 22:43 And there appeared an angel to him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was as great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
Because this verse is excessively revealing, some editions of the New Testament omit it from the text, and have it in the footnotes
God sure sounds unhappy. Maybe he should seek professional help for his anger. Hell, it worked for me.
Oprah should really blow this one out of the water... OK, so maybe several thousand readers *were* fooled when they learned that A Million Little Pieces wasn't entirely based on the facts of Frey's struggle with addiction, and that some bits were fictionalised.
But, taken into account that millions upon millions of people have been duped (and continue to be so) over the veracity of The Bible & its claims as truth in light of historical accounts, I think that we're better off with Frey's editors' decision to market his work as memoir vs. fiction. Really!
And, in hopes of maintaining a realistic perspective here, it's not like members of a pro-Frey faction swarmed down across the land, spilling over to foreign markets & distribution areas to enforce not only readership but acceptance of the content, putting to the sword those potential readers who couldn't be, in good conscience, fans. Wow, now there's some harsh marketing! Hark, is that the sound of thundering hooves I hear approaching? Woot! It's Anchor Press's horseback crusades! Run!
The factual problems with this volume center around the supposed accuracy of the storytellers, but even the least educated reader *must* not have been able to suspend their disbelief in order to swallow the hooey that some of the supposedly-real characters in the story lived to 700 years of age! Now, really! Unless that's a typo with an extra zero at the end, I'm not sure that a detail like that can be accepted as an infallible source with *any* historical merit. I mean, it *was* the first book to be printed, so, you figure, in the amount of editions & reprints in the past 600 years there was plenty of time for fact-checking & careful editing.
It's sloppiness like that which discredits the volume as a whole. Historical fiction demands accuracy & supporting sources, and non-fiction requires a balance of alternative texts. Unfortunately, the zealous fanbase has kept this work afloat for so long, who become more like apologists or defenders of the work without sufficiently addressing the problems of the work itself. This is Pottermania, people! No room for a scholarly debate.
I'm sure to recovering addicts that Frey is godlike in his deliverance of succor to suffering masses of people wanting to come clean, but does his authorship entail deification? And, if so, does it follow that his word is always true & good?
I think that, besides being a boring read with a lot of irrelevant details, The Bible's problem is that it takes itself too seriously, which in turn influences its readers unduly. To think that people would use it to gauge the total age of the Earth & come up with 6000 years as an acceptable answer succinctly demonstrates the danger in its flaws.
Those who enjoy that famous Christian lotus squat on their knees oughta know a few basics first about this Vatican sales brochure that once was a holy scripture. You see, there exist such things as Codex Vaticanus, Codex Sinaiticus, and Codex Bezae, albeit locked deep in the Vatican dungeons known world over as the "Secret Library". Codices? No, these aren't the latest Microsoft's video media codec plug-ins but the actual records on the many revisions made to this very ancient scripture. Codex Vaticanus alone contains no less than fourteen thousand -- that's 14,000+ -- revisions, modifications and omissions. BTW, these have nothing to do with the translation, which, of course, introduces yet another few layers of ambiguity, as you can imagine, especially when we're talking English, a language that gave up grammar altogether and adopted the most deserted vocabulary. Coupled with the other codices, a simple calculation yields the shocking yet all that much more true fact that the book today contains no original text, thought, or even a remote idea whatsoever. Although dramatically bound in a fear striking black hard cover, it contains no valuable link to what it's claiming to be representing. Seeking the word of God, one is better served by searching the Internet for the Coptic originals of the Gospel of Thomas and reading what Jesus himself had said, which BTW never made it into this version of bible at all. How is it possible that Jesus', the very messiah upon whom the entire writ stands, own verbiage is left out of the "holiest" of books? Well, it's no surprise, if you read it. You see, Jesus himself was very much against individuals donating to organizations and bowing heads to popes, pontiffs, scribes, and other Catholic church reps. Letting the truth out, may affect Vatican's life of sin, and so they choose the way of G.W. Bush and offer a lie after a lie than to give up their wealth. Make no mistake, Vatican owns one third of EU land and about 1/2 of the US land. It pretty much owns entire South America. It makes more money than EU/USA combined and they produce nothing, except this bizarre reprint void of anything relevant to God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit for that matter.
The writers are very imaginative and weave some fascinating tales as the various authors take you through the mythology of Judaism and Christianity with some very colorful characters that keep your attention. Some stories are violent, some are love stories,some are tales of loss, and others are down-right amusing. One of my only complaints is there are some "gaps" that lack explaining (some, such as the removal of Lilith from Genesis by the early Christians creates a problem about where Caine gets his wife from). Another small gripe I had was up until Abraham, there was different gods guiding the Jews and they seems to "disappear" after Abraham makes his deal with Iehova (I use the Latin spelling). I do wish they said what happened to them after Abraham unified the Jews under Iehova. In the New Testament I have a hard time liking Paul (he comes across kinda hard and I disagree about his views on women). Jesus is a really likeable guy who I would like to just hang out with. The authors did a great job of making the Jewish Pharisees very treacherous and not wanting to give up the power that they have held for so long and had become corrupted by. Obviously some of the details were lost over time and stories were edited and "re-fitted" to match ideology of religious leaders over time as well. Like I said in the title, it's very interesting, but has inconsistencies.
Apart from the leather, this book isn't really any good. It lacks consistency. Constant repetition yet also hypocrisy of previous chapters within the same sentence It's almost as if someone wrote this is some kind of a joke!
Also, It's somewhat long. This is mainly due to the repetition, and the "bonus chapter" of Psalms at the end which are thoughtful passages about sheep and other gentle wildstock.
I think this "extra" is aimed at the Welsh.
The Old Testament is generally more entertaining than the New there are a few events where the main protagonist "God" gets angry and knocks over a wall which kills 27,000 people.
Bit harsh I thought - But Entertaining.
But When we get to the New Testament this book takes a sudden change and plot. The new approach is to make the Book even more boring than before and to just have 10 identical chapters talking about "Jesus" - The new main protagonist who is the son of the old one "God"
Less entertaining things happen such as not taking into account the need of food at a big Jesus seminar and then Jesus finding some fish to feed them and save the day. And something about him entering an anorexic stage and walking on water. I would skip this part.
I think A better name for this would have been "Testament Re-spawned- The Second Coming - New Generation" But The "New Testament" was somehow chosen instead.
With a combined 72 authors working on this book I was expecting a lot more for my £20. It's simply full of incorrectly organized sentences, made-up words and boring events.
Also, when I found out half of this book (the new bit) can be found for free in hotels inside drawers made me very angry I feel like I've been conned.
Anyway - I turned the leather into a decent wallet for Father's day so all was not a loss.
Overall rating - 1/5
But not in a blasphemous/sac-religious way.
Ok, here we go with a review of perhaps the longest book ever! Growing up I noticed that every house I have ever been to has had this book somewhere inside! I grew curious but whenever I asked them about it they told me they never really read it. "This is peculiar!" I thought, "A book that everyone has but nobody reads!" Well, at one point I decided it was time, I picked up a copy, my house had one too of course and began to dig in.
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth." Wow, now when this author was told to start at the beginning he took it seriously! I was immediately intrigued however, in school they told us that monkeys made the Earth or something. I read on. Well, turns out that God made, man and animals too, and just about everything else. Except for computers and stuff I guess.
Well, Man gets off to a rough start and starts killing people right away. They have sex with about anything and the world is falling apart. So God has the only good man left build a huge boat and live in it with his family while God floods the Earth.
Things aren't much better after that, Man is still killing and having sex with stuff. God enacts, plan 2. He reminds a guy in Babylon that there is only one God and man is worshiping statues instead of him. So he tells the guy that if he leaves everything he has and goes to some far off place he will make them into a mighty race and will act as his ambassadors to Earth.
He figures what the hey and goes with it. He settles in a land called Canaan. A bunch of weird stuff happens but they live. Ok I guess. Until his descendants have one heck of a drought and can't live there anymore. So they move to Egypt.
All is well and good because Egypt is rich and pretty much the height of civilization. Think of it like America is today. But the Egyptians find out early on that if they make the Jews(God's people) do the work, they won't have to. This at first seems like a good idea, but they picked the wrong people to mess with because they have the Creator on their side. After a few hundred years of this a man named Moses tells them to leave and go back to their homeland.
They have a hard time doing this but, long story short they make it out of there and get back to their homeland. After a 40 year freakout in the desert that is. You see, Moses turned them on to some tablets that will change them forever. God gives him Ten laws to live by. And then a few hundred more. I mean there are pages and pages of this book that has to do with these laws, what they can eat, what to do if they get sick, what punishments for breaking laws should be, and so on and so forth.
Moving on. There's a problem though. Their homeland has been taken over by some mean dudes. And I mean mean. They are giants and they are keeping this land for themselves. So the Jews form an army and get ready to kick some but. They drive the johnny-come-latelys out on their kiesters.
Well, they set their government up so that these Judges rule everything. The Jews don't like this though, they want to keep up with the Joneses and have a King like everyone else. God is like, "Hello, I'm your king, remember?" But he gives in and has this Saul guy take charge.
Things are ok until Saul discovers that he pretty much rules the roost. After all God said he could rule these people so he might as well have fun doing it. Saul does such a bad job that they decide to get a new king. So they say David is going to be their king. So David is the king now and he is awesome. He takes over the rest of the homeland, and makes the country pretty rich, he writes poetry and music, and well he can do it all. He eventually kicks the bucket however, and Solomon takes control. He's okay at first, he builds them a huge temple. But he starts marrying women like crazy from all over the world and they worship some crazy gods.
After that Israel, Canaan's new name, is split into two. The north decides they don't want God anymore, but the south is still cool with him. They both get taken over by Babylon anyway. Babylon takes the Jews into Babylon, (Where they came from!) and enslaves them. Looks like it was out of the frying pan and into the fire. God has some people talk to the Jews for him, prophets and the next few hundred pages are writings by these prophets about what the heck is going to happen to them.
The Jews eventually get back to Israel and are like, okay we are going to play by God's rules this time. The book then fast forwards a couple hundred years. Rome owns Israel now and Israel is like it's B*tch. God is like, I told you I was going to send you a king that would make Israel powerful again so here goes. He has Mary give birth to his Son and his Son is going to be the new King.
The king's name is Jesus, he is pretty important because the next 4 chapters are about him. And he is like, God told you I was coming and you thought I was going to save you. Turns out I am going to save everybody, not by force though. The Jews are like, it better be by force, these Romans are bugging the heck out of us. But Jesus tells them to love their enemies and the he is going to die so that everyone, even the non-Jews can go to heaven. The Jews are like, okay so this guy isn't our new King after all. So he eventually is arrested and the Jews don't want him and the Romans don't know what to do with him so they kill him. Jesus is like, I told you this was going to happen, don't worry about it.
A few days later Jesus is back but just for a little bit, he tells the apostles it is up to them now, they have to spread his message of salvation so that everyone can be saved. In the next book, the disciples are called Christians and they set up churches all over the place. There is a Jewish guy named Saul that really hates Christians and kills them, but then he turns to God and realizes that Jesus was the king after all. Most of the rest of this book is written by him and it is filled with how a Christan should live.
Things aren't over yet, there is still the shocking climax. We've been told what happened, now we are going to learn about what is going to happen. The world gets worse and worse and Christians are being persecuted everywhere. So Jesus is not going to take it anymore. God and he begin to begin to start some havoc on Earth, nobody listens though because they no longer believe in him. Before unleashing the wrath though, Jesus comes back to Earth to take his followers out, and then comes back to kick some butt. He knocks this Anti-Christ guy out of office and becomes the king of Israel.
Things are going well until Satan comes back to take over Earth again. Satan is mentioned throughout the book as well. He is the Antagonist of the book and has been messing with God for some time now. As a matter of fact he is in the very beginning of the book when man starts messing up, so God is like, I'm sending someone to take care of you so keep it up and see what happens.
Anyway, Jesus finally shows Satan who is boss and throws him into an eternal fire along with the Anti-Christ guy. God and him then destroy the Earth one last time and make a new one for the Christians, and the Jews I guess, to live.
Phew, that was not an easy review. But it was not an easy book either. It took about 4 years, reading on and off, to finish it. I highly recommend it though. While reading it I discovered that there are a lot of places that have banned the book, like public schools. Especially Science classes because the teachers would give me really dirty looks when I brought it to class. They would tell me that monkey's made people, not God. I don't think God would lie about this though. If the monkey's made us it would be in this book. Plus, if you have every seen a monkey, they don't really look capable of doing anything really.
Long story short, check this book out. It won't cost you anything because, as I said, every house comes equipped with one.
Upon close scrutiny, we discover that the content of KJ Bible is a compilation of historically and archaeologically unsupportable Myths such as Noah's ark, Abraham, Joseph, David, Solomon, etc. It should also be noted that the book contains considerable violence and barbarism, in both the Old Testament & New, and I would certainly not recommend this book to children or youth, where the killing, brutality and guilt-mongering in the Bible could certainly have a very negative, fearful, and detrimental effect on a young person's development.
It also contains numerous self-contradictory passages and historically incorrect verses such as the statement in Daniel that erroneously refers to Belshazzar as being the son of Nebuchadnezzar, or in the NT, where the 10-year gap in between the actual death of Herod in 4BCE and the actual rule of Quirinius in 6CE renders the gospel text historically impossible.
The Esoteric Mythology of the "virgin and child" was depicted in Egypt for millennia before appearing as a human literalization in the NT Religious Dramas. In light of the fact that there is no extra-biblical evidence for a Jesus of Nazareth or the alleged events of "good Friday" (although there were other prophets and zealots by that name operating at that time who could have been the model for the NT pseudepigraphic constructs), there are many who say that Jesus never existed, and IMO as per its content, this book has little value as a complete historical record.
There are a few good passages, such as loving your neighbor as yourself and other wise "sayings", some of which are also present in more ancient religious texts. As has been said, The Song of Solomon is certainly a decent piece of erotic literature, but as for the rest of it, I certainly don't consider all of the incongruity in the Bible to be the "inerrant" "divinely inspired" "word" of any "perfect" God as per the claims of the content
(1) THE BIBLE collects together 'the Word of God' as delivered to humankind.
It is fact that this 'delivery' was confined solely to a highly localized community.
Somewhere about 1440-1450 CE, the printing press was invented. The printing press therefore appeared nearly one and half millennia after `Christ'.
It took considerably longer until literacy was widespread.
Thus whole civilizations, communities, groups, nations, families, individuals, cultures on other parts of the Earth came and went without any opportunity whatsoever to know about this `Christ' and His so-called `redemptive message', `knowledge', `moral codes', `guidance as to life and conduct' and so on.
Why does a `God' powerful enough to Create and Sustain the entire universe - all its content, its extent, its phenomena, its stupendous physical manifestations, communicate `His Word' to humankind in a manner that is, in terms of its mode and extent of communication, factually and manifestly indistinguishable from a local, parochial man-breathed myth left to spread through only-too-human means?
Why are so very many people deserted by 'The Lord Jesus Christ' - never remotely having the chance to know about 'The Christ', his `universal moral codes', his strictures, guidance, `redemptive purpose' etc?
Why does the `Almighty' communicate with such limited power? It is because this is a parochial man-created myth that spread merely through man-limited capability.
And Jesus just happens to appear in the very locality on Earth that was already surrounded by, and awash with, many similar deity myths. These end up in The Bible. 'The Lord Jesus Christ' is constructed from plagiarized and reheated god myths.
(2) Why does 'God' (supposedly: Omnipotent, Omniscient, Transcendent, Immanent, Creator ex nihilo, Eternal) Create and Sustain people who are not His Chosen or His Elect and who He Knew would never be His Chosen or His Elect?
(3) The entity that created and sustains the entire universe, including: super-giant stars, super-massive black holes, countless galaxies, neutron stars, red giants, super-nova, hyper-nova, stupendous physical, biological, chemical, geological phenomena, huge terrestrial and gaseous planets, and so on and so on, was obsessed with:
burning flesh, circumcision, sexual practices, Semitic rituals, pig meat, reciting tedious and elaborate lists of family names, incest, oxen goring men needing to be punished, the eating of blood and fat, the eating of shellfish, bodily discharges, beard trimming practices, hair length, crushed testicles, eunuchs, cloth garments ... the list is much longer and includes: a man who refuses to impregnate his widowed sister-in-law is put to death by The Lord [GE 38:8-10].
Universal `Truths' passed to man by `The Almighty The Lord God'? Or merely the parochial preoccupations of ancient Semitic tribes and scribes? Think about it.
(4) Time to grow-up out of this `Harry Potter for adults' product of cultural imagination and tribal human invention.
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